Crossroads of Life – Decision Time

This weekend I had to make a fairly big life decision, needless to say I felt very much like a capital A, Adult. This choice had two sides of my personality battling pretty ferociously, the level-headed, introverted, play it safe Sara versus the extraverted, follow your dreams, artistic Sara (cue Rocky theme music). People always tell you to follow your dreams no matter what, but when that means I am without a safety net to catch me you won’t see me jumping off the cliff. Through this choice, I have come to realize that this dichotomy that exists within my very being has become my biggest obstacle.

I was given two opportunities to pursue this summer, one working full-time, five days a week with a Corporation that I have been employed by part-time for many years. The other, from an arts organization that I have been volunteering with since September, offered three days a week from June to August. For some, this would be a no-brainer decision, I am sure those reading this have already made up their mind, but it became a real moment to reflect on who I am and what path I want to lead. It was a crossroads. The first one I have ever really had to face. Either choice I make pretty well closes the door on the other opportunity.

It came down to two major things.

One, do I play it safe or do I take the risk. Realistically, now is the time to make risks. I am young, I have no dependants, if I fail I can pick myself back up, but that big F is frightening, the almighty Failure. I have been conditioned to dread this concept, the reason so many projects I have started remain unfinished. But you cannot run away from it, you must face the chance that you may fall and trust that you have the strength to pick yourself back up and try again.

The other main point that tipped the scales for me was thinking what making the safe decision would mean. Sure, practical Sara sees a more consistent income for those summer months, but it also means loss. It would mean giving up. That would be my choice, to give up on a degree I spent five years in post-secondary school to achieve. It would mean I wasted all that time and effort. It would mean loosing the extroverted, follow your dreams, artistic part of my being. In the end I couldn’t give up on myself.

I am really excited to start this next step on my journey. I hope to discover new things about me, experience new opportunities, and have fun while I do it. I don’t know what the path has in store for me, but I am looking forward to taking each step with purpose and strength in the knowledge that I did not give into fear.

Thanks for reading 🙂

~Sara D’Agostino

 

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Heading into 2016

Heading into 2016

On this, the final day of 2015, I find myself looking back at everything that happened and wondering what the next year will hold, as I am sure many of you are. 2015 was a rough ride for my family. We have lost many  truly amazing people and I am saddled with an overwhelming feeling of sadness as I think about heading into a new year without them. At the moment it is hard to see the light and the good that has happened this year even though I know there are many examples of such.

These sad thoughts have been swimming through my head for the last few weeks, making it difficult to truly focus on anything else that may be going on. They have spiralled in many different directions, in a way holding me to the past and making me unable to think of the future. The future is daunting, scary, unknown, and unfathomable. At the present moment I find myself at a cross roads, hesitating to take any sort of step because which ever way I choose the other will be closed. There are opportunities but I am struck and stuck thinking of making the wrong choice, will I simply be wasting my time as I wonder down a path that really isn’t right for me.

These thoughts have brought me to contemplating resolutions for 2016, of which there are only two:

  1. Be Present in this moment and every moment that presents itself to you. Be aware of the people around you, of the conversations you are having, of the life that you are living. Be here in the now of today. When you are with someone, put away your phone, focus on them, give your undivided attention because that is the greatest gift you can offer someone, your time, your focus, yourself.
  2. Be Open to new experiences, situations, and events. Do not close yourself off, put your walls up, and retreat into your mind. Dive in headfirst and make the most of every moment. Each second you have with the people you care about is precious because you truly never know what may happen next. The future is unknowable, but the present is now. Do not focus on the past, do not put all your stock in the future, be open to today and all of the possibilities that it may offer you. Be open to new people, new places, new things. See the world with open eyes and lift your blinders, take it all in because the world is waiting for you.

These two resolutions go hand in hand and I hope I can make them my focus in 2016, will you join me?

A Happy New Year to all of you. Spend time with those you love. Have fun and enjoy! Most of all be present and open!

~Sara D’Agostino

The Beginning

I find beginnings difficult…

The pressure of a blank screen which you can fill with absolutely anything,

It’s daunting…

Terrifying in it’s limitlessness.

But here I am…beginning something…not sure what it’s going to be but excited about the possibilities.

Now I suppose the place to start would be with a bit about who I am. I feel like I am in limbo, at a crossroads in my life. I am a combination of many different things, as all people tend to be. I am a writer, reader, thinker, feeler, theatre goer. I am interested in books, plays, movies, television, being present in the moments of life. I am sometimes lost, sometimes found, sometimes I have a plan, sometimes I am without. I am finding my way, my place, my path and experiencing the world in which we live. I am me.

~Sara D’Agostino